i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
