I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
