All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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