where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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