Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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