Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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