I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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