I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
