it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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