Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I need moral support for this bender
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
