The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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