The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
