honey bunches of taint.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
