Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
