I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
