i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
