I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
