yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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