If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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