He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
