We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
