it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
