Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize