why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I didn't notice because vodka
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
