Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
