we have pet lesbian snakes
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
