it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize