You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
