I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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