jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
