Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
