My sheets look like a crime scene.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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