Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
