Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just invented taco cereal.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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