I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize