I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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