i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Everclear isn't food dammit
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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