the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize