I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
