I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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