Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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