Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Randomize