I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
