Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
