OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
