Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
