My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
