oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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