her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
