I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
