I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
