I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize