I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
as a side note pls kill me
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