i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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