4 words: hood of his car
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
