Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
