She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
handjob tips. give me some.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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