I didn't shave. On purpose
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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