It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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