I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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