I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
