I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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