Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Terrible idea I love it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize