idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
