He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
