With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Of course I have a pirate flag
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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