1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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