How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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