First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
