I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
