He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
