i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
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