Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
