are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
