problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
